Beauty and the Beast: InuYasha Style
by ShokoraYasha
Summary: From the crazed minds that brought you "The Lion King: Inu-Yasha Style!", another hilarious parody that is liable to make you pee your pants! ^^


A/N: As the interview is being written, I'd thought I'd start the second fic *grin* We don't own Inu-Yasha or Beauty and the Beast....BTB, this is Artie =)

Diclaimer: WE don't own Inu-Yasha or Beauty and the Beast, which are © to their respective owners.  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
THE CAST!  
  
Inu-Yasha as.....The Beast  
  
Kagome as.....Belle  
  
Sango as.....Cogsworth  
  
Miroku as.....Lumiere  
  
Shippou as.....Chip  
  
Naked Kaede as.....Mrs. Potts  
  
Kouga as.....Gaston  
  
Ginta as.....LeFou  
  
Kagome's Grandfather as.....Maurice  
  
Kirara as.....Philippe  
  
Naraku as.....Monsieur D'Arque   
  
Ayame, Hakkaku, Kagura as.....The Three Bimbettes  
  
Myouga as.....The Narrator  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Artemis turned around to face the angry cast "Come on guys, it'll be like old times!" She said, trying to change their attitudes  
"Old times!? It's hardly been too long since our last 'venture'!" Inu-Yasha cried, shaking a fist at her.  
"Sheesh, relax...." The panther clambered into the directors chair. As many stepped forward to voice complaints, she took a mega-phone and yelled "PLACES!"...  
  
It starts once again.....  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
*As the movie starts, it shows a castle behind a forest. As the Narrator tells the tale, Stained Glass pictures show the images in the story....*  
  
Myouga(Narrator):   
  
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young man lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything he could ever desire, he was spoiled, selfish, and rude. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the harsh winter's night. Repulsed by her disgusting appearance, the man scoffed at the gift and turned the old woman away, but she told him not to be deceived by looks, for beauty is truly found within. And when he yelled at her again, the old woman's repulsive image melted away to reveal a beautiful priestess. The man tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that no love could survive in his heart, and as punishment, she transformed him into a half-demon, and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous appearance, the Hanyou concealed himself inside his castle, a magic mirror was his only window to the outside world....besides the actual windows. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom brilliantly until his twenty-first year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell from the plant, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a hanyou for all his life. As the years passed, he fell into despair, and lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a half-breed?   
  
*As claws scrape across a portrait of a black haired man, the scene fades into the title with reads "Beauty and the Hanyou". The words disappear and it shows Kagome's cottage by a village*  
  
Kagome: *carrying a book while walking towards the village. Singing*  
Little village...such a quiet place yet...  
Every day's like the one before  
Little village....full of little people  
Waking up to say....  
  
*Several villagers burst out of their windows and doors singing*  
  
Villager 1: Ohayo!  
Villager 2: Ohayo!  
Villager 3: Ohayo!  
Villager 4: Ohayo!  
Villager 5: Ohayo!  
  
Kagome:   
Here comes the farmer with his goods like always  
The same old wheat and rice to sell  
Every morning just the same  
Since the morning that we came   
To this poor harvesting town....  
  
Farmer: *speaking* Ohayo, Kagome!  
  
Kagome: *speaking* Ohayo Sir!  
  
Farmer: Where're you going?

Kagome: The Library! I just finished this great book! About an old tower and an Oni and…

Farmer: *ignoring her* That's great…. Mia, the cattle! Hurry up!

Villagers: *singing*

Look there she goes, that girl is odd we know it!

Dazed and oblivious, can't you see?

Village Woman: Stays away from every crowd

Farmer: 'Cause her heads always in the clouds

Villagers: Yes we all know she's a funny girl, Kagome!

*Kagome hops onto a horse-drawn wagon and rides through the village, listening*

Driver: Ohayo!

Village Woman 2: Ohayo Gozaimasu! 

Driver: How is your family?

Village Woman 3: Ohayo!

Fish Merchant: Ohayo Gozaimasu!

Village Woman 3: How is your wife *Fish Merchant gets hit over the head*

Villager Woman 4: I need some eggs!

Village Man: I haven't got any

Kagome: There must be more than this pastoral life! *jumps off the wagon and enters the library*

Librarian: *speaking* Oh! Kagome!

Kagome: Ohayo Gozaimasu. I've come to return this book *hands him the book*

Librarian: *putting it back* Finished already?

Kagome: Yup, couldn't keep myself from reading it. Got anything new?

Librarian: *chuckles* Nothing new since yesterday!

Kagome: *searching through the books* Oh, alright….then I'll borrow….this one!

Librarian: Again!? But you've already read it….twice!

Kagome: But I love it! Mythical Lands, Deadly battles, enchantments! An unlikely hero!

Librarian: Well, if it's your favorite, why not take it?

Kagome: *shocked* But….

Librarian: No, no, I insist!

Kagome: *while backing out, bowing* Oh! Arigato! Arigato gozaimasu *leaves and walks down the road*

Village men: *looking at her through a window. Singing*

Look there she is

That girl is so bizarre!

I wonder if she's sick or very ill!

Village Women: 

With that absent-minded look!

Village Men: 

And she's always reading books!

Villagers:

What a stranger to the rest of us, Kagome!

Kagome: *sitting on a bench next to a shepherd and his sheep*

Why, isn't this amazing?

It's the best part for me, you see!

Here, is where she meets the hero *a sheep eats part of the page*

But she won't find that out, 'till later on!

Village Woman 5: 

It's no wonder that she's such a beauty

There's really nothing more to say

Fish Merchant:

But behind that fine physique

I'm afraid she's quite unique

So different from the rest of us…

Villagers:

Yes, nothing like the rest of us

So different from the rest of us, Kagome!

*Some birds fly overhead. A figure bounds up and thwacks one from the air. Ginta hurries over to catch it, misses, but sneakily throws it into the bag. Then he runs back over to Kouga, who was the figure*

Ginta: *speaking* Whoa, Kouga! You always get those birds! You'd have to be the greatest fighter in the world!

Kouga: *chuckles* Yes…I know

Ginta: *nods* I bet no Youkai alive could stand a chance around you….no girl for that matter, either.

Kouga: Ain't it the truth, Ginta. And I have my eyes on that beauty *points to Kagome*

Ginta: *surprised* The inventors granddaughter!?

Kouga: The very one! That lucky gem is going to be my mate!

Ginta: But she's--

Kouga: The most beautiful girl in the village.

Ginta: I know—

Kouga: That makes her the best! And I deserve the best!

Ginta: Of course, Kouga! But—

Kouga: *singing*

Right from the moment I laid my eyes on her

I knew she was the only one for me!

In this village there's only she…*Kagome walks past them*

Who's as lovely as me

So I've got to have this girl just for me! *looks around for her to find her gone*

Ayame, Hakkaku, Kagura:

Look there he is, he is so lovely

Kouga-sama, is so kawaii!

Be still my heart, it's hard to breathe!

He's such a tall, thin, strong, and handsome!

*Kagome weaves through the crowd while reading her book while Kouga is having trouble catching up with her*

Village Man(VM) 1: 

Ohayo!

Kouga: 

Pardon me….

VM2:

Ohayo Gozaimasu!

VM3: 

Nice to see you!

Village Woman(VW) 1:

You call this rice?

VW2: 

What lovely food!

VM4: 

Some wheat?

VW3: 

Yes, please

VM4: 

One pound?

VW3:

Hai.

Kouga: 

Outta my way!

VM4:

I'll get it for you….

Kouga:

Let me through!

VW4: 

Some bread!

VM5:

Some fish! 

VW5:

Some rice!

VM6: 

Some wheat!

Kagome: 

There must be more than this pastoral life!

Villagers: 

Well perhaps but…

Kouga: 

Just watch as I make Kagome my mate!!!!

*The villagers surround Kouga and block him from going over to Kagome. So Kouga climbs onto a house to follow her*

Villagers:

Look there she is, that girl so odd yet special

What a peculiar maiden she is!

It'll sadden every whelp

That she's always by herself

Group 1:

She's really quite a funny girl

Group 2:

Beautiful yet a funny girl

Villagers: 

She really is a funny girl! Kagome!!!

Villager: Ohayo!

Villager 2: Ohayo!

Villager 3: Ohayo!

Villager 4: Ohayo!

*Kagome figures something is amiss and turns back. The villagers quickly resume their daily routine and Kagome shrugs off the feeling and continues towards home when she runs into Kouga (literally)*

Kouga: Ohayo Kagome!

Kagome: Oh…Ohayo Kouga…*tries to go around him, but he continues to block her way. He then grabs her book* Kouga, can I have my book back?

Kouga: *flipping through the book* Kagome, how can you stand to read this? There are no pictures….

Kagome: Well, intelligent people don't need pictures…they picture it in their minds

Kouga: *tsk-tsking* Kagome…you really need to stop burying yourself in these books *tosses the book in the mud and Kagome goes after it* It takes your attention away from important things….like me! I mean, the whole town is talking about you *while Kagome is retrieving her book, Ayame, Hakkaku, and Kagura can be seen sighing in the background* It's not right for an onna to read…it's….scary…

Kagome: Kouga…you're absolutely evil…

Kouga: *grabbing her hands* why…thank you! Hey, lets go on a walk to the tavern and take a look at all my trophies.

Kagome: Maybe another time *pulling away*

Ayame: What's her problem?

Kagura: She's insane!

Hakkaku: He's handsome!

Kagome: *trying to pull away* Please, Kouga…I need to get home to help my grandpa

Ginta: That crackpot? *laughs* He needs all the help he can get! *Kouga and Ginta laugh*

Kagome: Hey! Leave him alone!

Kouga: *coughs* Yea! Leave her grandpa alone! *whacks Ginta upside the head*

Ginta: Hey…..

Kagome: *hrmphs* My grandpa isn't crazy, he's a genius!

*Behind them a big explosion is heard(and seen) Kouga and Ginta start laughing again. Kagome glares at them and runs to her house and down to the basement*

Kagome: Grandpa!

Kagome's Grandpa(Grandpa): How could this happen? Damn…. *crawls from a pile of debris* 

Kagome: Are you all right? *helping him out*

Grandpa: Yea…but I'm just about ready to give up on this junk pile *kicks it, hurting his feet. He then hops around for a few minutes in pain*

Kagome: You always say that…

Grandpa: This time I mean it! I can't get this damn thing to work!

Kagome: Of course you will! And you'll win first prize in the contest tomorrow too!

Grandpa: bah!

Kagome: *sneakily* You'll be a famous inventor….

Grandpa: *cheering up* Ya think?

Kagome: Always have, always will

Grandpa: Well then, what am I waiting for! I'll fix this heap in no time! *sliding under the machine* Hand me that…that thing…*Kagome hands him the tool* So, did you have a good time in the village?

Kagome: Yeah. I got a new book…Grandpa…am I weird?

Grandpa: You? Weird? *sliding back out, his hair all inky and his face dirty* Where'd you get such an idea?

Kagome: I…I don't know…I just don't feel like a belong here…I can't really talk to anybody…

Grandpa: What about…what's his name….Kouga! He's a handsome guy…

Kagome: Sure…but he's also rude and selfish and…Grandpa, he's not the one for me!

Grandpa: Alright, alright….don't worry. Once this invention is complete, our lives will turn around, you'll see *comes out from under the machine* I've got it! Let's start it up!

*He starts it up and the machine writes up a charm on a paper and fires it at the wall*

Kagome: *happily* It works! *ducks to avoid being hit*

Grandpa: It works? It does! *ducks as well*

Kagome: You really did it! Congratulations!

Grandpa: Get Kirara ready, Kagome. I'm off to the contest! *stands up triumphantly and gets hit in the head with one of the charms*

*A while later, Kagome's Grandfather is on Kirara's back while she pulls the machine like a wagon. Kagome waves at her grandfather as he waves back*

Kagome: Sayonara, Grandpa! Good luck!

Grandpa: Sayonara, Kagome! Take care! *He and Kirara disappear into the horizon* 

*As time passes, Kagome's Grandfather and Kirara eventually become lost*

Grandpa: Hm…We should've been their by now… Perhaps we missed our turn…I should've waited a moment and…just a second, Kirara. *Holds up a lantern to a sign, which reads 'Edo' and 'Kyoto'. He looks at the roads then tries to steer Kirara down one* Here, lets go this way *Kirara looks down the path. It's foggy and dark, surrounded by dead trees. The other path is clearer and pleasant looking. Kirara tries to go down the safer path* 

Kirara! What are you doing! It's a shortcut, come one! *Kirara reluctantly goes down the dark path*

*Some time has passed and it seems our duo has gotten more lost*

Grandpa: This isn't right…Where have you taken us, Kirara? *Kirara growls* We better turn around-- *Kirara hears some noises and begin backing up warily* whoa….whoa…what're you doing…whoa..careful…look out! *Kirara backs into a tree and a swarm of bats flutter out. Kirara thunders away, weaving in and out through trees. She's doing quite well, until she almost runs off a cliff. Luckily, she stops at the very edge* Back up Back up Back up Back up Back up! Good girl….slowly….steady…good… *they're safely on ground, but then a wolves howl could be heard. Kirara bucks Kagome's Grandfather off and runs off. The lantern falls and breaks* Kirara! Kirara come back!

*Kagome's Grandfather looks up to see a pack of menacing wolves, looking as hungry as ever. After a moment of silence, the man takes off at a weak run, the wolves hot on his trail. He stumbles down a hill and spots a gate leading to a great castle. He runs up to the gate and bangs on it, yelling to gain someone's attention. Just as the wolves are about to pounce, the gate opens and he falls in. Thinking quickly, he slams the gate shut so the wolves can't get it. He scurries away as the wolves shove their muzzles through the bars, trying to catch him. It begins to rain as the old man makes his way up to the castle. He knocks on the door and it creaks slowly open and he enters.*

Grandpa: H-hello? Anyone here? *A table can be seen in dim light. A woman wearing a pocketwatch around her neck is sitting on it, next to a man holding candlesticks. We would recognize these two as the one and only Sango and Miroku*

Miroku: *whispering, barely audible* Poor guy, musta gotten lost…

Sango: *also whispering* Quiet! Maybe he'll go away

Grandpa: Is someone there?

Sango: *still whispering* Don't say a word, Miroku….

Grandpa: Gomen nasai….but I've lost my way….I need a place to stay, just for tonight…

Miroku: *with big puppy-dog eyes* Awww, come'on Sango. Have a heart!

Sango: Shhhh! *puts a hand over Miroku's mouth. The houshi takes this as an invitation and rubs Sango's rear, causing her to let go* ACK! Pervert!

Miroku: *speaking loud enough to be heard* Of course, jichan! Guests are always welcome!

Grandpa: Huh? *looks around* Who's there? *picks up Miroku, yet fails to notice that it's a man he's holding*

Miroku: *sighs* Over here, sir…

Grandpa: Hm? *looks around again* Where?

Miroku: *taps the old man. He then looks at Miroku and notices he's a person* Kon'banwa!

Grandpa: ACK! *drops Miroku, who lands on his rear-side hard* Amazing!

Miroku: eh?

Sango: *hurries over* Now look what you did, baka! Wonderful! Just lov—ack! *Kagome's Grandpa picks her up*

Grandpa: Amazing…how is this done? *Still doesn't think of them as humans*

Sango: Gah! Put me down this instant!

Grandpa: Hmmm *fiddles with Sango, pulling on her nose and opening up her kimono and examining her. Sango grabs Hiraikotsu and beats the old man over the head with it*

Miroku: *pouts* Of course, let the old man do that. But when Miroku tries to…nnnnnooooooooooo…..*Sango glares at him and he shuts up*

Grandpa: Oh...I'm sorry miss. I've never seen a talking clock before and…ahhh…..ah…ahhhhchoooo! *sneezes into Sango face*

Sango: Oh, just lovely! *takes out a cloth to clean off her face. Kagome's grandfather then drops Sango onto Miroku as he sniffles sickly. The girl scrambles off Miroku quickly, noting the amorous look on his face*

Miroku: *hops up* Oh sir, you're as sick as a dog! Come warm up by the fire

Grandpa: Arigato…. *He and Miroku make their way to the den, Sango running after them, protesting*

Sango: No, no, no! You know what he'll do once he finds out! *In the shadows, a menacing figure with sharp claws and teeth watches them enter the den. He snarls and stalks off*

Stop! Miroku, are you crazy!? *stumbling after them. Miroku leads Kagome's Grandpa to a large chair facing the fire* N-no…that's' HIS chair…oh…. *Buyo comes up, with cushions tied to his back. He rubs against the old man purring* Oh…great…he'll have our heads for this…

Grandpa: Oh, hello there little guy *pets Buyo as the cat positions himself under the man's feet. A man holding coat hangers comes in and takes his coat* What service!

Sango: *worried* Alright…this is as far as it goes! I'm in charge and I'm drawing the line here! *almost gets run over by a teacart with a Naked Kaede with a teapot and Shippou wearing a bucket on his head* uh….

Kaede: Hehehe! Sir, wouldja like some teeeea? *Kagome's grandfather picks up Shippou and Kaede pours some tea in the bucket*

Sango: *now on the floor* no! no tea!

Shippou: *as Kagome's grandpa drinks the tea* hehehe, that tickles!

Grandpa: *surprised* gah! Oh, hello….

*Suddenly, the door of the den slams shut, putting out all the flames. Sango dives behind a chair and shakes her head. Kaede starts shaking and Shippou hides behind the naked old lady*

Shippou: Oh no….

Inu-Yasha: *stalks in, looking menacing. His claws are bared and his fangs are showing. But aside from that, he looks like a normal man with puppy-dog ears. Nevertheless, he looks scary. Growling* We have an intruder….

Miroku: *clearly nervous, relighting his candles* Inu-Yasha-sama, let me explain. He was lost in the woods, in the rain. We were just trying to— *A growl from Inu-Yasha silences him and he dives behind Sango for protection*

Sango: Sire, I'd just like to say that…I was completely against this from the start! It was all his idea and…. *Now a roar from the Hanyou silences her and she falls back into Miroku's willing arms*

Grandpa: *looks around and sees Inu-Yasha. He gasps, but can't help staring* 

Inu-Yasha: *growls and advances on the old man* Who are you! What is your business here!?

Grandpa: *leaps from the chair and backs away from the vicious-looking half-demon* I-I was lost in the woods *he's staring at Inu-Yasha*

Inu-Yasha: You shouldn't have come here…

Grandpa: I'm sorry…really!

Inu-Yasha: What are you staring at!?

Grandpa: N-n-nothing! *turns to make a run for the door*

Inu-Yasha: *leaping far over him and blocking the entrance* So, you've come to gawk at the Hanyou!?

Grandpa: No! I mean no harm…I just wanted a place to stay for the night…

Inu-Yasha: *snarls* I'll give you a place to stay!

*Inu-Yasha grabs the old man roughly and carries him out the door, slamming it and leaving Sango, Miroku, Kaede, and Shippou in darkness. Miroku has a fresh slap mark on his face. They all look saddened and guilty*

Sango: *softly* I….I told you…

*Cut to Kagome's cottage. Outside Kouga and Ginta watch the house, hiding in the trees*

Ginta: *giggles* She's gonna get the surprise of her life, eh, Kouga?

Kouga: Hai. It's her lucky day *steps out of the trees to greet a large amount of wedding guests hidden amongst the trees* I'd like to thank you all for coming. I'd introduce you to the bride, but I still need to propose. 

*The villagers laugh heartily, but Ayame, Kagura, and Hakkaku are crying their eyes out…especially Hakkaku*

Kouga: *to Ginta* Now Ginta, when I bring Kagome out the door—

Ginta: I know, I know! I strike up the band! *he raises his arms and band starts to play. Kouga quickly hits him to shut him up*

Kouga: NOT YET!

Ginta: *rubbing his head* Gomen…..

*cut to the inside of the cottage. Kagome is sitting at the table reading a book. There's a knock at the door and she puts her book down and goes over and looks through a hole to see who it was. It was Kouga, dressed as if he was ready for a formal party. She groans and opens the door with a fake smile on her face*

Kagome: Kouga! What a….surprise….

Kouga: *waltzes in* I know. Life's full of surprises. Kagome, there's not one maiden in this whole village who wouldn't love to be in your shoes. Today *he pauses to stares at himself in the mirror, then continues* the day your dreams come true

Kagome: Oh really? What makes you think you know my dreams?

Kouga: Well, picture this *helps himself to sit down at the table, butting his muddy feet on her book* A cave in the woods. The latest threatening demon cooking in our fire….'cause I killed it. My mate, brushing my beautiful hair! The little ones on the floor, playing with the wolves. *Kagome looks disgusted and Kouga grins at her* We'll have nine or ten

Kagome: Wolves?

Kouga: No, pups! All male, like me!

Kagome: Lovely *picks up her book and puts it away*

Kouga: *comes up behind her* and do you know who that mate will be?

Kagome: uhhhh…..

Kouga: *cornering her* don't be silly, it's you, Kagome!

Kagome: *blushing, she ducks under his arms and backs away* Kouga…I…I don't know what to say….

Kouga: *pinning her against the door* Say you'll be my mate

Kagome: *fumbling for the doorknob*I'm sorry, Kouga…but I don't deserve you…. *she opens the door and ducks under his arms again. He tumbles forward and out the door, straight into a puddle of mud. Kagome slams the door. Ginta strikes up the band then realizes that Kagome isn't there and stops it. He leans over to look in the mud. Kouga's head pops out, on top of a wolf*

Ginta: So?

Kouga: *grabs Ginta by the neck* Kagome will be my mate! Mark my words! *He drops Ginta into the mud and stomps off*

Ginta: *looks at the wolf* Geez, what's with him? *the wolf tilts his head to the side*

*cut to the back of the cottage. Kagome pokes her head out*

Kagome: *to chickens* Is it safe? Is he gone? Geez, can you believe the nerve of that guy!? Me, the mate of that selfish, stupid….

Kagome: *singing*

Miss Kouga, can you imagine?

Miss Kouga, his little mate!

No way, not me. I don't believe in…

I want much more than this pastoral life…

*runs into an open field, over looking a beautiful valley*

I want adventure that's way out somewhere

I want it more than you could know

And it really would be great

To open up that gate

I've wanted so much more than this girl's fate….

*There is a loud roar that causes Kagome to turn around. Kirara runs toward her, but she finds that her grandfather isn't with her. She runs to the frightened demon*

Kagome: *speaking* Kirara!? What are you doing here? Where's ji-san? Did something happen? We've got to hurry…take me to him! *she jumps onto Kirara's back and the cat demon takes off toward the woods*

OOC: That's the end of my chapter ^_^; I know it was boring, just grin and bear it, kk? See ya

  
  
  



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